Before reading “Mel-isms” I want you to know that Melissa is by far the smartest, most loving and compassionate person I know. Unlike me, she does not take herself so seriously that she can't have a good laugh at herself. I am learning to be more like her and realize that there are far more important things to be serious about. She has graciously given me permission to share them with you. That said, I hope you enjoy "Mel-isms" as much as I do.
As Mel and I were watching the Olympics one evening, there were three female Olympians on the screen at the same time. In an extremely concerned voice, Mel exclaimed, "What is wrong with that girl? She is so much shorter than the other two!" In a calm voice, I explained, "Babe, this is the medal ceremony and she won the bronze."
Life’s A Beach
One afternoon, Mel and I were looking for furniture at Furnitureland South in High Point, North Carolina. We approached a showroom with the words "COASTAL LIVING" prominently displayed in huge letters across the wall. After a few minutes, Mel turned up her nose and said, "It all looks pretty beachy to me."
What A Croc
One year, Mel really wanted to get a pair of Crocs so we went to The Mall at Concord Mills. Instead of looking at the directory to find the store, we casually strolled along trusting we would eventually find our destination. Finally, we came upon a store that had rows and rows of Crocs displayed in the window and I said, "Oh, here we go!" We walked in. Inside the store were all kinds of Crocs. They were on the wall, on the shelves, on special displays. There must've been 20-30 different styles of Crocs. We went a little crazy grabbing Crocs. We estimated the total for everything we grabbed, we put some pairs back on the shelf, we compared pairs and grabbed more. This went on for 15-20 minutes until finally, we picked out four or five pairs of Crocs that we wanted to purchase. It was then that Mel looked up at me and asked, "Wait, is this the Crocs Store?"
Getting To Know You
A few years after Mel and I got married we were talking. Sometimes, after you've been married a little while, you try to get to know each other better and ask questions like, "What were you thinking when...?" or "What did you hope would happen when...?" In this spirit of getting to know each other better, Mel asked me, "Honey, how long after you met me did you realize I was Asian?"
From time to time Mel and I find ourselves at odds with each other. We banter affectionately with clever quips and comebacks until one of us decisively ends the ribbing with an untoppable zinger. One such moment occurred in our kitchen as we were debating feverishly over 'who was the biggest chicken?' Mel stated profoundly, "YOU are the biggest chicken QUACK, QUACK, QUACK!"
I’ll Scratch Your Back If You Scratch Mine
One night Mel and I were relaxing at home when I asked for a back-scratch. Mel obliged but quickly grew concerned for my health as she noted an abnormal sound coming from my back apparently caused by her rigorous scratches. Her concern for me grew until finally, she implored, "Babe, what is wrong with your back? It keeps clicking!" I asked her, "Aren't you wearing bracelets?"